Transparent Thoughts

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Hey there. So today I'm not going to touch on any topic, I'm just going to share a raw and authentic piece, birthed from a place of vulnerability and things I was processing. 

So here goes:

Sometimes I find talking about my internal struggles a huge struggle
I guess I'm still trying to embrace the fact that it is okay to be vulnerable and honest about certain things 

So I guess it's okay to admit that I feel lonely at times 
That I sometimes feel that I have alot of superficial relationships
I have some real ones, I'm not going to lie 
I just guess that it's easy to drown even with real relationships present. 
I will also admit that I feel a huge weight of pressure on me sometimes 
At times I open LinkedIn or other forms of social media and I see people do great and massive things 
And I get the feeling of inadequacy, that I'm not doing enough 
That I am not good enough, or whatever 

But I guess what I need to always keep in mind 
Is that even in moments 
Where I go through phases fuelled by anxiety, bewilderment and discombobulation. 
I am not alone and that God is closer than the very air I breathe
I always need to keep in mind that the notion that 
I am inadequate or that I'm not successful or that I need to live up to a certain expectation is a LIE from the pit of hell

So this is my prayer - In the words of Jonathan McReynolds 
"Jesus take from me ALL the pressure, pressure, pressure
To be someone else You did not create
Help me, be me, and only, see you,
Let me decrease and glorify you"

Jesus help me to always be cognizant of the fact
That I am enough, I am chosen 
That I am fully known and loved by You
Rid me of the pressure to be someone that You did not create 
Help me to become the person you've called me to be
Breathe on my weaknesses, renew me, transform me
Help me to reach a deeper level of trust in You
May you increase as I decrease. 🙏

Comments

  1. LaurabelJune 8, 2020 at 6:42 AM

    Beautiful, authentic and very raw. Thank you for showing this side of you. Kudos to you❤

    ReplyDelete
  2. UnknownJune 8, 2020 at 7:40 AM

    This is some deep staff. Some of it actually speaks to my own experiences

    ReplyDelete
  3. RumbiJune 9, 2020 at 1:05 AM

    Vulnerability is the core of shame, fear and struggle or acceptance. But it is also the birthplace of joy, creativity, belonging and love. Glad you have chosen to accept the good in it. This is beautiful ✨

    ReplyDelete
  4. UnknownJune 12, 2020 at 4:59 AM

    You spoke on behalf of many of us, this is a true reality, so raw

    ReplyDelete
  5. UnknownJune 12, 2020 at 5:11 AM

    I like the fact that you are self aware of your struggles which is a step in the right direction. Remember you don't have to conform to standards of this world, you are not successful according to who? You are inadequate according who? This is one of the ways the devil tries to move us from God because he whispers these little but dangerous lies. The only person we need to compare ourselves to is Jesus because if you compare yourself to other broken sinful human beings like you and see that you are doing better than them then you will feel self righteous and prideful.

    ReplyDelete

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